A handshake isn’t what it used to be. I wrote a post about the Swiss handshake and kiss greetings (touchy-touchy) way back in July of 2016. Coming from a country where women seldom shake hands, I had to jump over my shadow and learn to do it right. Now it’s second nature. When you meet someone you stick out your hand to greet them.
But Covid-19 is shaking the sturdy ground that handshake was built on. Nowadays the kiss and handshake are discouraged and even frowned upon. I find myself wondering what to do with my hands when I meet someone. I don’t want to be impolite. Luckily everyone is sitting in the same boat (with enough social distance, of course) at the moment.
History
People have been shaking hands for a long time. Albeit for a bit of a different reason than today. It is assumed that in the beginning the handshake was meant to seal an agreement. Using your right hand also meant that you couldn’t be carrying any arms.
In addition to ancient reliefs showing figures clasping hands, there are some mentions in literature. The Iliad by Homer (set somewhere in the Bronze Age) mentions that two characters ‘clasped each other’s hands and pledged their faith.’ One of them proclaiming ‘Let’s not try to kill each other’. I think that’s good, shake hands and don’t kill each other. Somewhat later William Shakespeare wrote in ‘As You Like It’ that two characters ‘shook hands and swore brothers.’
Honestly, I’ve never shaken anyone’s hands to pledge faith or swear sisterhood. It’s usually to say ‘hi’ or ‘bye’. So it looks like somewhere between then and now the meaning of the handshake has changed a bit.
Greeting
But when did the handshake evolve as a greeting? Some historians noticed that a greeting handshake didn’t appear in etiquette books until the mid 19th century. Interestingly enough it was considered a somewhat improper gesture.
That might be better understood when you know about James Cleland who was a Scotsman living in England. In 1607 he proclaimed that instead of bowing down to everyone’s shoes and kissing hands, he’d rather ‘retaine our good olde Scottish shaking of the two right hands together at meeting with an vncouered head’. There is a hypothesis that suggests that bowing was a hierarchical act of greeting. Think Queen. Traditionally a quick curtsey if you are a woman or a neck bow for men is what is expected when you meet the Queen. If she offers you her hand, then shaking hands is allowed. Whereas handshaking was a standard among equals. So it would only seem natural that as hierarchies weakened, handshakes strengthened.
In a Fix
But Covid-19 is putting a strain on this traditionally embedded greeting. It is considered one of a few ways the virus (not to mention bacteria) is transferred from one person to another. So don’t do it.
Because of this, many people are trying to change their habits. A point in case, my husband was at the notary the other week signing some papers. All the other parties were there, too. The notary came in last. At the door he said a general ‘hello’ with a quick nod and sat down to begin the meeting. Before he could get a couple of words out someone with a bit of a chip on her shoulder suggested he introduce himself before he started. The notary apologized saying he forgot because he usually did that when he shook hands. Obviously some things are harder to change than others.
What to Do
Trying to change hammered-in habits isn’t easy. One way is to replace it with another, better suited ‘habit’. You know, like Telly Savalas in ‘Kojak’ in the 70’s who quit smoking by replacing the cigarette for a lollipop. Okay, that may not be the best example, but you get the idea.
So what are our alternatives, here? Before the lockdown but after concerns about handshakes had begun, my niece came to visit. I turned to my trusted friend the Internet to see what other people were doing. I found out about the foot touch, elbow bump even a fist bump. When she came I think we tried almost everything out, including a Japanese bow. Nothing really felt right. I think once I get out and about again I might try something like putting my right hand on my heart and a slight nod. But all in all, I guess we will just have to wait and see what emerges as an adequate, non-virus spreading way to greet people.
Stay safe and healthy everyone. Oh, and let’s try not to kill each other.
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