You’ve just got to love idioms and metaphors. You say one thing and mean something completely different. Literally translating them are lots of fun, too. Understanding them can sometimes be like mental gymnastics.
How to do the Impossible
German: Wie der Versuch, einen Pudding an die Wand zu nageln.
English translation: Trying to nail pudding to the wall.
Do you want to do the impossible? Although I’ve never used it, trying to nail Jello to a tree is the English metaphor. Jello is ‘Wackelpudding’ in German and translates into ‘jiggle pudding’. So beautifully descriptive. Don’t you just love German?
The expression I would use in English to do the impossible is, trying to herd cats.
As in English, there are more than one way to say how to do the impossible in German. Here’s another picturesque German saying that I’ve heard.
German: Du kannst dir auch ne Frikadelle ans Knie nageln und so lange drehen bis Radio Hamburg kommt.
English translation: You can nail a meatball to your knee and turn it until the radio station Hamburg comes in.
Right. While you’re at it you might want to clean the pudding off the wall and the Jello off the tree. And don’t forget to put the herded cats out for the night.
Being Naïve
German: Nass hinter den Ohren.
English translation: Wet behind the ears.
Another way to call someone naïve in Swiss German is to call them blue eyed. Both have to do with newborn babies and what can be more naïve? Newborns are wet behind their ears. Most babies are born with blue eyes and change to hazel or brown during infancy. Only about 1 in 5 Caucasian adults keep their blue eyes. Unless, of course, they are being naïve.
Doing More Than Necessary
German: Päpstlicher als der Papst.
English translation: More Pope-like than the Pope.
Actually both these expressions exist in both languages although in English you would probably say ‘Holier than Thou’. The first time I heard that in German was when our accountant told me not to be that. I thought wow, I didn’t know there was any leeway when it came to bookkeeping. Live and learn.
Being Pesky
German: Du gehst mir tierisch auf den Nerven!
English translation: You go me animally on the nerves!
A Bernese would probably just say ‘You nerve’. It’s shorter and more to the point. Why waste words with someone who you don’t necessarily want around?
Giving Control to the Idiot
German: Den Bock zum Gärtner machen.
English translation: Turning the ram into the gardener.
I can only imagine what the garden would look like if a ram was in control. I have no idea how you would say something like this in English.
Don’t Want to do Something
German: Kein Bock.
English translation: No ram.
Somehow the poor ram has ended up taking the heat in yet another German idiom. If you are calling someone names, which really should be avoided, you could call them a ‘stubborn ram’ in German. Which is not very nice at all. In English, rams are not used in conjunction with being stubborn. You would simply say you don’t want, or feel like doing something.
My computer is acting up again. I could try and fix it but that would be like nailing a meatball to my knee and turning it until the radio station Hamburg comes in. At the moment I have no ram in writing anymore, my computer nerves. I’m outta here.
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