Who doesn’t like to get them? Little gifts of recognition, appreciation or for just an uncomplicated thank-you or thinking-of-you. Until I came to Switzerland I didn’t know that that could be an art. Sure, you give gifts for birthdays and Christmas but that was about it.
When you are invited to friends for dinner, you always bring something. The first time I realized this was in college when we were invited to our German teacher’s for dinner. A European, who also took German was invited too. She brought a bouquet of flowers, the rest of us came empty handed. It wasn’t that we were impolite, but we had never been exposed to that before.
My family never invited other families over for dinner. Likewise, we weren’t invited out either. Sheesh, we didn’t even have grill parties. I guess the people we knew just didn’t do that. The smiles of gratitude on the German teacher’s and his wife’s faces couldn’t be overseen. Nice, thoughtful sign of appreciation.
The ‘Bring-With’
Once I moved to Switzerland I found out there was a noun for gift bringing. It’s called a ‘Mitbringsel’ which translates into ‘a little bring-with’. Ben and I have had lots of guests over for dinner and were invited to others for dinner, too. Flowers, wine and chocolate are the mainstay of ‘Mitbringsel’ in Switzerland.
The idea you should bring a gift when invited to dinner is pretty much engraved in the Swiss brain. Occasionally we may try and dissuade friends from bringing something but that usually fails miserably. Still, deep inside it’s nice to know that they want to show you that they appreciate being invited.
My sister-in-law has taken ‘Mitbringsel’ to the next level; she is truly world-class in this category. She always has the perfect little gift ready for every occasion. I don’t know where she gets all her ideas but it’s a far cry from a bouquet, wine and chocolate. No, wait. I take that back. She knows my weakness for Lindor chocolate balls. And, when I think harder, she and her daughter brought flowers the last time they dropped by. But that wasn’t just flowers it was a very special kind of flower. One you don’t have to water and it blooms! Amazing. There is always a lot of thought and appreciation that goes into her gifts.
Just so you know I’m not the only one who notices how individual her ‘thinking-of-you’ gifts are. Once, when I was in the hospital, my roommate commented on what she brought as very thoughtful. It wasn’t the ‘normal’ flowers or chocolate one gets while convalescing. None of that ‘I picked these up at the flower shop downstairs’ for her either. It was a very personal well thought-out gift.
Give a Gift
In America you very seldom just give a gift. I suspect the receiver would look at you rather strange wondering what you wanted in return. Sure, you thank them, talk to them nicely making compliments but no gift giving. I’ve adapted somewhat since being in Switzerland.
At home I have a stash of ‘Merci’ chocolate that I can pull out and say ‘thank you’ whenever necessary. The mailman or the plumber have been recipients for example. Of course, in the summer when it’s really hot I do not pull out the chocolate. Then I slip into the basement and pull out the freezer drawer with the ice cream cones and popsicles. I let them pick out their favorite. Sometimes I treat myself to one after they leave, too.
From what I’ve heard, gift giving can take on a whole life of its own in other European countries. In 1982 Ephraim Kishon wrote a short story about ‘travelling chocolate’ [Schokolade auf Reisen]. If you haven’t read it, see if you can find it somewhere. Although his books were translated into many different languages I couldn’t find it in English.
The story revolves around a gift wrapped box of chocolate. In many countries people not only have stashes for gifts they can give at the drop of a dime. They also have no problems giving unopened received gifts further. That’s what happened to this box of chocolates. It went from a house warming party to birthdays to anniversaries and exchanged many hands. Years later it returned in the form of an unopened gift to the original sender. Who unfortunately had a insatiable desire for chocolate and opened it. Inedible chocolate, but it’s the thought that counts.
By the way, the Hungarian born Kishon lived the latter part of his life in Switzerland.
Not So Fast
Sometimes the gift receiver gets so few gifts that the reaction is, well, unexpected. A friend of mine decided to give her trusty garbage men a whole case of wine as a thank you. She wanted to give it to them personally. Just putting it out on the curb wouldn’t do the trick. She waited by the window so she wouldn’t miss them. The telephone rang and she had to moved away from the window for a moment to answer it. Of course, as Murphy would have it, the garbage men came at that very moment. Luckily she saw them and was able to get off the phone. Quickly grabbing the case she ran out the door after the truck yelling to wait. The men heard her, stopped the truck and took the crate.
My friend was just able to stop them from throwing it into the garbage. I don’t guess anyone had ever given them a thank-you crate of wine before.
-
-