Egg cartons warn ‘this product contains eggs’, milk cartons that have a label ‘contains lactose’. Really? Sometimes I think ‘They can’t be serious!’ Can anyone really be that stupid and not know that eggs contain eggs or milk contains lactose? What about the warning that a bag of peanuts might contain nuts? Duh. But the nonsense doesn’t stop there. America can give you many reasons to shake your head in disbelief and say ‘only in America’.
Before I start really digging in here, let me say the following. When I first moved to Switzerland I got a lot of ‘American’s are crazy’. They would repeat something they heard on the news or otherwise believed to be true. They made it sound like all Americans were like that. ‘All, or at least most get buried in their cars, along with their guns!’ ‘Americans have no food culture, they all only eat hamburgers!’ In the beginning that bothered me a lot, it seemed like all Americans were getting a bad rap in Switzerland. There are some crazies out there. Still, not all of them and, there is always a story behind the headlines.
Foods
Generally speaking, I’ve seen things on food packaging in America that have made me wonder how sane the manufacturers were. Eggs, milk and peanuts for example. Then I stepped back and said, why yes, of course. Allergies and allergic reactions can be life threatening. That’s why there are egg free eggs and lactose free milk.
The warning that a bag of peanuts might contain nuts is distracting. Aren’t they sure? PeaNUTS there is no ‘might’ about it. Think again. Peanuts used to be called Goober peas and are not nuts, rather legumes! It may be people who are allergic to nuts can eat peanuts and people who are allergic to peanuts might be able to eat walnuts. So it could happen that a bag of peanuts might contain nuts. You have to be careful, you don’t want a case of false advertising.
I guess nothing is what it seems to be.
Loopholes
I’m not a lawyer. This is purely my non-legal view of the American system.
No company wants to harm people or be sued hence the seemingly idiotic cautions. Filling any loopholes with warnings is the best way to prevent that. So that ‘stupid’ is debunked. It’s called protecting your rear-end.
It does, however, open a bottomless pit of finding loopholes to sometimes disguise the sad stupidity of a plaintiff. Everyone’s heard of the microwaves and cat or rabbit stories. Here are two other stories you might have heard about.
The Headline: Hot Coffee and McDonalds, 1992
Stella Liebeck initiated a lot of head shaking when her case made national and international headlines. She sued McDonalds because she burnt herself with their coffee. Of course, holding a cup of hot coffee between your legs and driving at the same time is never a good combination. How can anyone be so stupid? I believe she was awarded $2,900,000. But that’s not the end of the story.
There is information that didn’t seep through to the general public. Despite previous warnings by the Health Department about their coffee temperature McDonalds had done nothing. The coffee was extremely hot, 180°F (82°C), Ms Liebeck had some serious burns and was hospitalized.
She wasn’t without fault either, really, who holds a piping hot coffee between their legs in the first place? The jury deemed her 20% at fault so she only won 80% of the award. Of course the judgment was appealed and in the end reduced. I couldn’t find the final figure, but I believe it was only enough to cover her medical expenses.
The end effect was McDonalds has a warning on all their hot drinks ‘Caution, Handle With Care, I’m Hot.’
Headline: Red Bull Gives You Wings, 2013
“In 2013 the energy drink company ‘Red Bull’ was sued. The man, who after 10 years of drinking the substance, ‘Never grew wings nor gained athletic or intellectual performance!’ And he won! Red bull was forced out of court to pay $13 million for the claim they make in their ads.”
The corn of truth this is based on makes for a heck of a good headline that sparkles. You might be thinking ‘How stupid and greedy can Americans be?’ Or maybe ‘Someone found a heck of a loophole!’
The truth is there was a false advertising lawsuit against Red Bull. The man didn’t sue because he was wingless but because it wasn’t a superior source of energy. It didn’t boost your energy more than a cup of coffee would. Hmm, why does everything revolve around coffee? If they lost they would have to pay out to all the people jumping on the bandwagon. To avoid lawsuit after lawsuit they settled, but didn’t admit to any wrongdoings. Of the $13 million I believe more than 3 went to the lawyers. The rest was used to pay disappointed customers at $4 to $10 each.
The winners? The lawyers!
But just remember, these cases can get completely distorted after being told and retold. They by no means represent the ‘average’ American. The average Americans that I know are solid, thinking people who are not out to make a quick buck at someone else’s expense.
That said, this was fun to write and I might make a second post with more cases.
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