‘Mama’ very well may have been your first word. At the least it was probably what your closest relatives, your parents wanted to recognize as a word. It’s spoken the same way in nearly every language known. As the baby gets older it will associate the word with a person and no longer for Mammam, yummy food.
Parents
Children who speak English usually evolve from calling their parents Mama and Dada to Mommy and Daddy. Most everyone I know did. As we got older it further evolved to Mom and Dad. My siblings and I changed Mom to ‘Maw’ when we wanted to aggravate my mom. She hated that.
My mother and both her sisters called their parents ‘Mother and Daddy’. I find that a relatively odd combination of formal and endearing. My mother grew up in Georgia so I associate an adult calling their father ‘Daddy’ with the deep south. If that’s true or not, I’m not sure. I also don’t know whose choice it was that their mother was to be called ‘Mother’.
In Switzerland my husband called his parents Mami and Papi, later Muetti [pronounced M-ewe-ti] and Aetti [At-ti]. I’ve heard variations on the theme from Mutti [Moot-i] and Vatti [fot-i]. When I came to Switzerland Ben’s parents were introduced to me as Muetti and Aetti. That was what I, along with Ben’s brother, sister and even their children called them. That is, until one of the grandchildren couldn’t pronounce ‘Muetti’ correctly and it came out ‘Mimi’ [me-me]. From then on it was ‘Mimi’ and ‘Aetti’.
Grandparents
My parents had a tough time trying to decide what their grandchildren should call them. I think here the problem was being a grandparent meant you were getting old. They didn’t feel old so they weren’t comfortable with the idea of being called ‘Grandma’ and ‘Grandpa’. They toyed with the idea of ‘Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong’ but settled with ‘Grandmother’ and ‘Grandfather’.
Because you usually have two sets of grandparents you have to come up with two different sets of names. After all, who talks about ‘my maternal grandmother’ or ‘my paternal grandmother’? For me, one set was called ‘Grandma’ and ‘Grandpa’ the other was called ‘Nana’ and ‘Pops’. Ben’s grandparents who had lived in America were called ‘Grossmommy’ and ‘Grossdaddy’ which means Grandmommy and Granddaddy. The other set was called ‘Grossmama’ and ‘Grosspapa’. He called his great-grandmother ‘Grandmère’ which for me, has a very noble ring to it. So Swiss, a little bit of English, German with a touch of French thrown in.
Given Names and Relatives
Most people call their siblings by their given names. I have a friend in Switzerland who refuses to call his sister anything but ‘Sis’ or ‘Schwo’ [both mean sister]. When I asked him about that he said ‘She’s the only person in the world I can call that which makes her unique.’ Okay. You go bro.
Quite often a challenge can be what you call close relatives you work with. It would sound strange when a notary says something like ‘I’ll have to see what Daddy thinks about this.’ Totally wrong. This sets up a hierarchy and it just sounds wrong in the business world. On the other hand, it sounds strange to have a son call his father by his given name. But in a business situation, calling someone by their name and not an endearment is the thing to do.
Mixing Languages
I mentioned this in another post, but it left an impression on me, so I will mention it again. ‘Vatti’ or ‘Papi’ isn’t a given name but a chosen one.
We were invited to friends for dinner. Their children came in, said goodnight and then went to bed. After they left we asked what he had just been called. It wasn’t anything like “Vater” [father], “Aetti” [Dad] or even Papi.
As it turns out, shortly before their children were born they had vacationed in the States. They heard kids calling their fathers ‘Daddy’ and thought that had a wonderful ring to it. They decided that was what they wanted their children to call their father. Why not? It’s endearing and in Switzerland somewhat exotic.
To our unsuspecting ears, we heard the children pronounce ‘Dad’ and ‘Daddy’ as “Dead” and “Dead-y”. What??!! Once we realized what they had said, we said something like “Oh, we weren’t expecting English!”. After all, if that’s what he wants to be called, who are we to say otherwise?
Spouse
What you call your chosen relatives, your spouse can depend on a lot of different things. I find it somewhat unnerving when a husband calls his wife ‘Mother’. Of course it’s to be expected when talking directly about her when speaking to children. ‘Ask your Mother’. But to say ‘Mother, what’s for dinner?’ and the children aren’t in the room is scary. And yes, we know people who do that.
Then there are the wonderful cuddle names people call each other in German. They can be most anything. Mouse, little mouse, bunny, heart bug or even cuddle-man. Again, not something you would necessarily want to call your business partner in front of customers.
In the end I don’t suppose it really matters what your relatives call you or you call them. What matters is, is having the people around you that you love and love you.
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